In order to cultivate emotional strength in the workplace, it is important to prioritize four main areas: self-awareness, self-management, interpersonal awareness, and relationship management. According to Michael Wiederman, a former professor of clinical psychology who now applies psychology in professional settings, it is important to pay special attention to the self-awareness module. This is because being more aware of yourself as a leader can help you effectively manage your emotions and your team.
A leader who is self-aware makes decisions calmly and thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively to a situation. Wiederman, whose research is based on Daniel Goleman’s 1995 best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Mean More than IQ, provides a list of strategies to enhance EQ and become emotionally resilient in the workplace. Here is how you can obtain it.
1. Identify what you feel
When you encounter a challenging situation at work, it’s common to feel a variety of negative emotions like anger, frustration, and irritation. However, when you experience a positive outcome, it can trigger such a sense of euphoria in your mind that you allow yourself to relax and enjoy the moment. However, if you find yourself in a situation that feels unbalanced or complicated, take a moment to reflect and find the word or phrase that accurately captures your emotions in that particular moment. There is no need to classify or label, the initial step is simply to recognize your emotions.
2. What is causing you?
Now, let’s proceed by analyzing what caused that emotion. Have you been bothered by any specific factor or set of elements? Has this pattern occurred regularly? Do you feel upset when a member of your team says or does something in a particular manner?
For instance, imagine you have been following a set pattern for organizing an upcoming event. However, your team decides to deviate from this format and opt for a complete overhaul, believing that it requires a fresh approach. What do you think about it? While it’s commendable that your team members are being proactive and exploring new ideas, it’s important to acknowledge that this approach carries significant risks for the project. As you become more self-aware of these patterns, or what Wiederman refers to as “pain points,” this knowledge will assist you in effectively managing your emotions and developing emotional resilience in the workplace.
3. Give in to emotion
Humans are naturally inclined to avoid or escape emotions that are commonly considered negative. But if you keep avoiding uncomfortable situations and the emotions they bring up, you’ll miss out on the chance to confront and resolve them. Ask yourself questions such as: What are the things that I am afraid might happen? Should I allow this emotion to persist? Why am I reacting so strongly and what are my feelings about the situation that caused it? Often, if you pause and reflect on your emotions and their underlying causes, you’ll realize that you have greater control over the situation than you initially believed.
4. Ask others for their opinion
There are times when having a fresh perspective can reveal things that you may have overlooked. For instance, when you believe you have just rejected a proposal from a team member, it might appear to others as if you are being condescending or even aggressive in your response. My dear friend, that is not a characteristic of a good leader. In such situations, it is crucial to seek external assistance in order to enhance self-awareness. Could you please seek the opinion of an unbiased third party regarding the situation and their reaction to it? Try to remain open-minded and avoid becoming defensive when they share their thoughts with you. There are times when you require someone to reveal a particular version of who you are. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to upgrade is in your hands.
